Hello! Sorry about missing last week. The book launch went well, and I’ll do a post about that with some photos soon.

This week, though, something else is on my mind. I’ve been praying about something for a while, and over the weekend, a friend told me that they were going to fast and pray today (Tuesday) for me and this specific topic. I almost immediately decided fasting was a great idea and I should join them in it. (After all, if someone was going to do that for me, the least I could do was do it with them.)

But as today drew closer, I felt like I couldn’t fast. (I see a lot of value in fasting and have done a number of extended fasts, so it’s not that I can’t go without food.) I sensed God was saying that He hadn’t asked me to do that. I had gotten the idea from someone and taken it on myself as what I “should” do.

I realized that I had planned to use the act as a bargaining chip. I would never have said that or even really thought of it in those terms, but God highlighted to me that, in this instance, I was hoping to somehow earn an answer to this particular prayer or convince God that He owed me the result I want because of my dedication to not just pray but also fast for it.

How appropriate that the sermon at church this past Sunday was on God’s grace and our inability to add anything to it. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s grace. When Jesus said, “It is finished,“ He meant it, and there is nothing more to add.

In the context of the sermon, salvation is the end result that we cannot earn. But God took it a step farther for me. I don’t get to “earn” answers to prayer. I can’t bribe or manipulate God to act a certain way because I choose to sacrifice the joy of eating food (or chocolate or fill-in-the-blank) for a day.

Does this mean I won’t fast again in the future? Absolutely not. I may even fast for this specific prayer again in the future. What it does mean is that I don’t choose to sacrifice something as a bargaining chip to hold over God’s head, as though He now owes me something in return.

Should we pray? Of course. I believe prayer changes things and is powerful beyond what we can comprehend. Should we fast? Yes. The Bible is clear that God is honored by this spiritual discipline.

However, the heart behind the act is important. The times I have fasted and seen God move were times when I felt He was asking me to humble and discipline myself in that way to partner with Him at that time. The times I decided on my own to fast were the times when there was no grace or strength to fulfill my self-imposed sacrifice.

So, today, I enjoyed food. I did what I felt I could and should do to facilitate God’s move in my circumstances, and I will leave the results with Him. I will rest easy, knowing that I can’t earn His answers through rituals or sacrifices any more than I can earn my own salvation. I must simply be obedient.