I wrote last week about this time away being a time for rest. In the two weeks since I left my flat, it seems like I’ve done little other than rest, yet I feel exhausted still. **Before I get emails telling me I’m tired because I need exercise, I am walking a good bit and not just sitting around all day. **
Over the past few days, I have begun to realize while my body is on holiday from all the activities I’ve been involved with over the past months, my mind and emotions are still very busy about many things. I’ve spent nearly two weeks getting rest physically, but I’ve not rested spiritually, emotionally and mentally yet. I haven’t really set down the burdens I’ve been carrying over the last months: visa renewals, ministry opportunities, relationships, friends’ struggles, the state of the world. The weight of any one of these is tiring, but combined, it’s no wonder I’m tired.
So, two weeks into this unexpected period of rest, I’m beginning to realize I’ve done very little resting at all. I have been focused on the resting and waiting aspects of this “holiday” and forgotten the “in Him” part, which is always the most important and always the most tricky – because it requires surrender.
If I want to rest in Him, I have to let Him carry the burdens I’ve been trying to manage; that means letting them go. This weekend has been difficult as I wrestled with surrender, and the match isn’t over yet. My heart feels like letting go of the “burdens” feels an awful lot like letting go of the hope for those things to work out.
To be totally honest, I feel a bit like it’s still Friday and I’m laying all my hopes and dreams in the tomb. Resurrection Sunday seems to have missed its cue in my heart, and yet I know Jesus still holds the power to bring new life when all is dead and buried. He can be trusted with all that weighs on my heart and mind. I really can rest in Him and know He has the power to bring about the things I hope for, and even if He doesn’t, He is still good and will bring about His best for me and those I love.
How about you? Are you carrying burdens you need to let go? Are you struggling to see life and hope renewed? Are your hopes and dreams hidden behind a stone He has not yet rolled away? Do you fear it’s too late for resurrection to come?
Come to Him. Hand Him your burdens and let Him give you rest.
