I am living in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Finally!
Yes, last time I wrote (far too long ago), I had already moved to this place, but I wasn’t really living here yet. That took much longer. While I still don’t have a bank account or driving license yet, I have learned to really live here and not just survive.
You see, I knew long before my move to Belfast that this place was meant to be a temporary stop on the way to somewhere else. For the first several months I lived here, I was simply surviving and avoiding any roots that would make it painful to leave when the time comes.
As I spent a couple of weeks away during the holidays, I realized just how little I had allowed myself to settle into life in Belfast. I became aware of the walls I’d built to keep from making connections to another city I was destined to leave in time. Remembering the dark months after leaving Sligo, I was determined to guard my heart from feeling that kind of pain again… I would settle when I finally got to move to the city I feel called to.
The problem with just surviving one season until you can move on to another one, the one you think you really want, is that you lose out on the richness of the season you’re just putting up with. When I came back to Belfast at the start of January, I made the choice to connect and thrive here… in Belfast! I got involved and built relationships at my church, friendships that have blessed me in so many unexpected ways.
When I spent time in Sligo at the start of last month, I was (surprisingly) torn because of a desire to also be with my church and ministry family in Belfast. Just in the first month of 2020, my attitude had completely changed toward the city I am living in, and all because I chose to let people in.
Will it be sad to leave Belfast when the time comes? No doubt there will be moments of sadness, even with the excitement of moving to the place I already love and consider “home”. But that’s a good thing! I am reminded again of Tennyson’s quote, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
As I considered this topic for a blog post this morning, I read an email from JJ Heller, a songwriter. She was sharing her new song based on the following quote from C.S. Lewis:
“If you want to make sure of keeping [your heart] intact, you must give it to no one… Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
I have tried locking my heart away, and I’ve found that the secret to thriving in every situation, to really living the abundant life Jesus came to give is to live whole-heartedly, with a heart free to love and be loved by others and, most importantly, God.
Here is the song, Unbreakable Heart by JJ Heller:
